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Isn't prom just a fun dance that hardworking students deserve? Sure, but it's also an event where girls internalize damaging cultural messages.
- Rachel Simmons
#Dance
#Deserve
#Fun
#Just
#Sure
Sometimes true girl power means accepting that we are actually vulnerable and even powerless - then figuring out how to adapt and have our needs met in other ways.
- Rachel Simmons
#Adapt
#Girl
#Power
#Sometimes
#True
There are many ways to be the odd girl out. Your pain can brief or lasting, visible to all or none, with one or many. One of the longest, quietest ways to be the odd girl out is to be friends with two girls who are closer to each other than to you.
- Rachel Simmons
#Closer
#Girl
#Longest
#Pain
#Two
There are times in every friendship when you or your friend are too busy to call or are more focused on other relationships. It will hurt, but it's rarely personal. Making it personal usually makes things worse, and being too clingy or demanding can drive a friend even further away. Like people, friendships can get 'overworked' and need to rest.
- Rachel Simmons
#Busy
#Drive
#Friendship
#People
#Rest
In the so-called age of girl power, we have failed to cut loose our most regressive standards of female success - like pleasing others and looking sexy - and to replace them with something more progressive - like valuing intelligence and hard work.
- Rachel Simmons
#Age
#Intelligence
#Power
#Success
#Work
Intrinsic motivation is one of learning's most precious resources. It bolsters us to stick out the tough moments of a challenge and pursue what we love to do.
- Rachel Simmons
#Learning
#Love
#Precious
#Tough
#Us
Happiness doesn't just happen. It must be pursued. And if the pursuit of the 'ultimate currency' of happiness helps us choose occupations that confer present and future benefit, and these choices, in turn, motivate us to succeed, this strikes me as perhaps the most powerful non-cognitive skill of all.
- Rachel Simmons
#Choices
#Future
#Happiness
#Me
#Skill
There's no question that aggression can be learned through modeling. When a child sees her parent behave in a particular way, she may be tempted or even rewarded for being that way.
- Rachel Simmons
#Aggression
#Modeling
#Question
#She
#Way
For generations, black children have been brought up to have a critical race consciousness, a framework for dealing with prejudice and discrimination, which helps inoculate them against the spiritual toxins they will almost certainly encounter as they come of age in our society.
- Rachel Simmons
#Age
#Black
#Discrimination
#Society
I run skills-building programs focused on healthy risk taking, failure resilience, and self-care for undergraduates around the country.
- Rachel Simmons
#Country
#Failure
#Healthy
#Resilience
Reacting to every slight or letdown is neither realistic nor fair; it sends the message that we expect the other person to be flawless in relationship. But no one is perfect, and no one relationship can ever meet all our needs.
- Rachel Simmons
#Meet
#Perfect
#Person
#Relationship
Somebody once told me I treated my smart phone like Wilson, the volleyball Tom Hanks turns into a friend when he's stranded on a desert island in that movie 'Castaway.' It's an apt comparison: parenting a toddler occasionally feels like being marooned, and your phone is your only connection to the rest of the world.
- Rachel Simmons
#Me
#Parenting
#Rest
#Smart
#World
Sadness, irritability, fatigue, and distractedness are among the most common side effects of grief while parenting.
- Rachel Simmons
#Fatigue
#Grief
#Parenting
#Sadness
#Side
When girls can be honest with each other, they can make mistakes on their own terms and discover through experience - and not through knee-jerk adult intervention - what a healthy friendship should look like.
- Rachel Simmons
#Experience
#Friendship
#Look
#Mistakes
Silence is deeply woven into the fabric of female experience.
- Rachel Simmons
#Experience
#Fabric
#Silence
#Woven
Many girls aspire to a version of selfhood that puts a psychological glass ceiling on their potential to succeed. They suffer from what I call the Curse of the Good Girl: the pressure to be liked by everyone, generous to a fault, and flawless at everything you do.
- Rachel Simmons
#Curse
#Everything
#Glass
#Good
#Pressure
I've spent years in therapy excavating my endless, often fruitless drive to overachieve. I have learned that being successful hasn't made me happy. It's just made me successful. I even call myself a recovering overachiever.
- Rachel Simmons
#Drive
#Happy
#I Have Learned
#Me
#Myself
Girls may love movies about fairytale princes, but their most captivating romance is with their friends.
- Rachel Simmons
#About
#Friends
#Love
#Movies
#Romance
Empathy isn't the same thing as expressing emotions. It's not about sharing your feelings - it can be really uncomfortable if a parent cries or loses strength at the moment her daughter needs it most. The message sent is that you need to be taken care of, not the other way around.
- Rachel Simmons
#Emotions
#Empathy
#Moment
#Strength
#Way
Self-compassion encourages mindfulness, or noticing your feelings without judgment; self-kindness, or talking to yourself in a soothing way; and common humanity, or thinking about how others might be suffering similarly.
- Rachel Simmons
#Feelings
#Humanity
#Suffering
#Thinking
There are no shortcuts to genuine friendship. Relationships are built over time.
- Rachel Simmons
#Friendship
#Genuine
#Shortcuts
#Time
In the age of girl power, we're loath to send a message of surrender to our girls. To the contrary: we've doubled down on giving them permission to speak up and fight for their rights. This is a good thing.
- Rachel Simmons
#Age
#Fight
#Good
#Power
#Speak
If we want to end a culture rampant with harassment, we must listen to the adult women who are speaking out courageously. We must also make room for girls to speak: If we listened, we'd find that many middle schoolers are trying to tell us, 'Me too.'
- Rachel Simmons
#Culture
#Find
#Me
#Speak
#Women
Social media forces girls to bear witness to painful realities of relationship that were previously hidden from view. It is a new kind of TMI, or 'too much information': publicly posted photographs of an outing or party you did not attend, or a personal web page like Formspring, can send a girl into paroxysms of anxiety and grief.
- Rachel Simmons
#Media
#Relationship
#Social Media
#View
Self-knowledge is the foundation of real success.
- Rachel Simmons
#Foundation
#Real Success
#Real
#Success
Harassment is one of puberty's darkest, most unreported rites of passage.
- Rachel Simmons
#Darkest
#Harassment
#Passage
#Puberty
We have to teach girls communication skills.
- Rachel Simmons
#Communication
#Skills
#Teach
It never hurts to tell your teen they matter more than their looks.
- Rachel Simmons
#Matter
#More
#Never
#Teen
#Tell
#Your
Launching a kid into college is about more than having the money to pay for it. Parents invest so much of their time and identities in the process that it can feel like a part time job. For many parents, the college your child ends up attending becomes a parenting grade.
- Rachel Simmons
#Money
#Parenting
#Parents
#Process
#Time
Jealousy is unavoidable - it's part of the price we pay for intimacy.
- Rachel Simmons
#Intimacy
#Jealousy
#Part
#Pay
#Price
A healthy friendship is one where you share your true feelings without fearing the end of the relationship. It's also one where you sometimes have to let things that bug you slide. The tough moments will make you wiser about yourself and each other. They will also make you stronger and closer as friends.
- Rachel Simmons
#Friendship
#Relationship
#Tough
#True
The meteoric rise of the 'wellness' industry online has launched an entire industry of fitness celebrities on social media. Millions of followers embrace their regimens for diet and exercise, but increasingly, the drive for 'wellness' and 'clean eating' has become stealthy cover for more dieting and deprivation.
- Rachel Simmons
#Diet
#Exercise
#Fitness
#Media
#Rise
#Social Media
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