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Chris Rock
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#Tags
Show me one guy or woman as funny as Rodney Dangerfield or as good as George Carlin, Richard Pryor, Bill Cosby, or Joan Rivers. There are a lot of good comics out there, no doubt, but as far as the quality of the comics goes, I think what you have is a bunch of situational comics.
- Chris Rock
#Funny
#Good
#Me
#Quality
#Woman
There's some downsides to being famous, which are not even worth mentioning. But to combat the bad sides of being famous, you really should take advantage of the good sides. The good sides are, you can use that fame to get projects you might not normally get.
- Chris Rock
#Bad
#Being Famous
#Fame
#Famous
#Good
Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with. C.B. is such a loser. He wasn't even the star of his own Halloween special.
- Chris Rock
#Brown
#Halloween
#Loser
#Own
#Person
Karaoke isn't fair when you're a comedian. The whole idea is to get people laughing and enjoying themselves, and I'm a professional funny guy.
- Chris Rock
#Fair
#Funny
#Guy
#People
#Professional
The thing that surprised me the most is just how much money women that weren't rich were paying for their hair. When you're in a beauty parlor in Harlem next to abandoned buildings and somebody's paying five grand for a weave, that's a bit much.
- Chris Rock
#Beauty
#Hair
#Me
#Money
#Women
When I hear people talk about juggling, or the sacrifices they make for their children, I look at them like they're crazy, because 'sacrifice' infers that there was something better to do than being with your children.
- Chris Rock
#Better
#Children
#Crazy
#Look
#Sacrifice
I'd like to be in a Spike Jonze movie. But I live in a Nancy Meyers movie.
- Chris Rock
#Like
#Live
#Movie
#Nancy
#Spike
Black people dominate sports in the United States. 20% of the population and 90% of the final four.
- Chris Rock
#Black
#Final
#Four
#People
#Sports
I'm severely overrated. I'm just above a hack. That should be the name of my new DVD: 'Chris Rock: Slightly Above Hack'.
- Chris Rock
#Above
#Just
#Name
#New
#Rock
Anything you can suck at should make you nervous.
- Chris Rock
#Anything
#Make
#Nervous
#Should
#Suck
I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.
- Chris Rock
#Bad
#Get
#Live
#Neighborhood
#Shot
President of the United States is you know, our boss, so you know, the President and the First Lady are kinda like the Mom and the Dad of the country. And when your Dad says something you listen.
- Chris Rock
#Boss
#Country
#Dad
#Lady
#Mom
I was bused to a school in Gerritsen Beach in Brooklyn in 1972. I was one of the first black kids in the history of the school.
- Chris Rock
#Beach
#Black
#First
#History
#School
When I do stand-up, I'm basically doing a one-man show.
- Chris Rock
#Basically
#Doing
#One-Man
#Show
You can only offend me if you mean something to me.
- Chris Rock
#Me
#Mean
#Offend
#Only
#Something
Gun control? We need bullet control! I think every bullet should cost 5,000 dollars. Because if a bullet cost five thousand dollar, we wouldn't have any innocent bystanders.
- Chris Rock
#Control
#Gun Control
#Gun
#Innocent
Gay people got a right to be as miserable as everybody else.
- Chris Rock
#Everybody
#Gay
#Miserable
#People
#Right
Every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to and the one white people used to go to.
- Chris Rock
#Go
#People
#Same
#Two
#White
If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near fourty.
- Chris Rock
#Damn
#Looks
#She
#Twenty
#Woman
I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.
- Chris Rock
#Life
#Messed Up
#Stupidity
#Way
#Wish
I have my own demons and dark moods. It's weird.
- Chris Rock
#Dark
#Demons
#My Own
#Own
#Weird
Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know?
- Chris Rock
#Being Famous
#Being
#Famous
#Love
#White
A man is only as faithful as his options.
- Chris Rock
#Faithful
#His
#Man
#Only
#Options
You don't pay taxes - they take taxes.
- Chris Rock
#Government
#Pay
#Take
#Taxes
#You
There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
- Chris Rock
#Food
#Funny
#Life
#Water
#Women
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