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Show me one guy or woman as funny as Rodney Dangerfield or as good as George Carlin, Richard Pryor, Bill Cosby, or Joan Rivers. There are a lot of good comics out there, no doubt, but as far as the quality of the comics goes, I think what you have is a bunch of situational comics.

- Chris Rock
#Funny #Good #Me #Quality #Woman
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A boy is not free to find a partner of his own as long as he must be the partner to his mother. - Frank Pittman
#Find
#Free
#Long
#Mother
#Partner
Common sense says that chairs and tables exist independently of whether anyone happens to perceive them or not. - Charles D. Broad
#Common Sense
#Exist
#Happens
#Sense
The lover is a monotheist who knows that other people worship different gods but cannot himself imagine that there could be other gods. - Theodor Reik
#Cannot
#Gods
#Imagine
#People
#Who
Let's face it: the present self is present. It's in control. It's in power right now. It has these strong, heroic arms that can lift doughnuts into your mouth. And the future self is not even around. It's off in the future. It's weak. It doesn't even have a lawyer present. - Daniel Goldstein
#Control
#Face
#Future
#Lawyer
#Power
I also assume that they are not simply the physical properties of things as now conceived by physical science. Instead, they are ecological, in the sense that they are properties of the environment relative to an animal. - James J. Gibson
#Animal
#Environment
#Now
#Science
#Sense
Violence is man re-creating himself. - Frantz Fanon
#Himself
#Man
#Violence
People who play are happier people. And people who don't have access to play tend to be depressed. - Brian Sutton-Smith
#Access
#Happier
#People
#Play
#Who
There is no fun in psychiatry. If you try to get fun out of it, you pay a considerable price for your unjustifiable optimism. - Harry Stack Sullivan
#Fun
#Optimism
#Pay
#Price
#Try
Thou shalt not give birth reluctantly. - Otto Rank
#Birth
#Give
#Reluctantly
#Shalt
#Thou
It's better when they laugh, isn't it? - Lorne Michaels
#Better
#Laugh
I love collections of things, but always in moderation. - Sandy Gallin
#Always
#I Love
#Love
#Moderation
#Things
For me as a filmmaker, I do the projects I'm really excited about. - Laura Ziskin
#About
#Excited
#Filmmaker
#Me
#Really
In school, you learn that there are only seven kinds of stories. There's man versus nature, man versus man, man versus himself, blah blah blah. So it doesn't matter what they're called. It's this: do you have a new story that fits into one of those things. - Roberto Orci
#Man
#Matter
#Nature
#New
#School
A lot of reality shows tend to harp on the negative. The person isn't pretty enough or can't sing well enough or maybe isn't even funny enough. - Bruce Nash
#Enough
#Funny
#Negative
#Person
#Reality
As with instant replay, NFL Films' use of slow motion, camera angles and the narration of Facenda was not just a technical breakthrough but a conceptual breakthrough. - Tony Verna
#Camera
#Just
#Motion
#Slow Motion
#Slow
If there was no Hollywood, no next movie, no deal at Warner Brothers, no place in Malibu or Venice, I would still be really happy. - Susan Downey
#Deal
#Happy
#Next
#Place
#Still
I'd rather deal with a Mob guy shaking hands on a deal than a Hollywood lawyer, who, the minute you get the contract signed, is trying to figure out how to screw you. - Albert S. Ruddy
#Contract
#Deal
#Hands
#Lawyer
#Trying
Here in Israel, we want the boys back home, we demand it from our government, who often pay a steep price to get hostages back. But we need a happy ending. We don't want to deal with those days after release, their post-trauma or reintroduction to society. Yet coming home is only the start of their journey. - Gideon Raff
#Back
#Government
#Home
#Journey
#Society
The people run the country. So if people didn't want you shooting in their neighborhood, there's no authority that can tell them they have to. That's why it's called the People's Republic of China. - James Lassiter
#Authority
#Country
#People
#Tell
#Why
I have a staff of 12 people, so it's easy for them to handle all the management and the day to day at the company while I'm directing. - Chris Stokes
#Company
#Day
#Easy
#Management
#People
What I'm looking for is a self-promoting film; a movie which immediately gets people's imagination is something I can promote - a project which writes its own publicity. - Jeremy Thomas
#Imagination
#Looking
#People
#Project
It has nothing to do with commercial success. You cannot calculate in your head how to put the mosaic together to make a commercial film: that's out of the question. - Arthur Cohn
#Film
#Head
#Nothing
#Success
#Together
People talk about making art films - experimental films. I can make an art film every day of the week. Nothing to it. What's difficult is to combine a commercial film with art. - Carlo Ponti
#Art
#Day
#Difficult
#Every Day
#People
A lot of people say television holds up a mirror to life, and that's why you see all the drug busts and the killings and the seamier side of life. I personally take the view that it's not sufficient to portray only negative role models. It's not enough to say 'no' to drugs. What do you say 'yes' to? - Sherwood Schwartz
#Life
#Mirror
#Negative
#Television
#View
I love moving through long spaces and being enclosed. - Steven Shainberg
#Being
#Long
#Love
#Moving
#Through
We have gotten some terrible reviews at times but if we depended on the judgment of the studios or critics, we never would have made more than one movie. - Ismail Merchant
#Critics
#Judgment
#More
#Never
#Terrible
Not to age myself, but I remember vividly 'Schoolhouse Rock!' and entrust my grammar to it. - Dede Gardner
#Age
#Grammar
#Myself
#Remember
#Rock
I sold 'Time Life' books on the telephone. It's probably the only pure skill job I've ever had. When you're on and you're good, you get 'yes' after 'yes.' When you're slightly off, you get rejection after rejection. It was one of the greatest jobs I ever had. It was brutal. - David Nevins
#Good
#Life
#Rejection
#Skill
#Time
I've had a great passion for video games for as long as I can remember. Growing up, 'The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time' was one of my all-time favorites. My brother and I ran up quite a bill calling the 1-900 numbers for tips on those games before the Internet provided game guides. - Megan Ellison
#Game
#Great
#Internet
#Passion
#Time
Don't forget, I've been fired by studios; I'm not the studio's guy. I'm a guy who can work with studios, but if you ask any studio, I stand up to these people. - Glen Mazzara
#Forget
#People
#Stand Up
#Stand
#Work
When you decide you want to become a television writer, you naively assume it's going to be like the writers on the old 'Dick Van Dyke Show.' You'll write something and they'll just put it on TV. But what you quickly discover is that American network television is television by committee. - Jeffrey Klarik
#American
#Decide
#Old
#Show
#Television
I love books. I read voraciously, and I happened to have been fortunate to have been in the right place at the right time. - David Heyman
#Love
#Place
#Right Time
#Right
#Time
There seems to be a vulnerability at the networks in late night. They are losing more and more audience, particularly young viewers who are now looking at cable television. 'Tonight' is an old show. CBS has reruns, and having a public affairs series like 'Nightline' on ABC is a big mistake. - Fred Silverman
#Late
#Mistake
#Night
#Old
#Vulnerability
The thrill of doing visual effects doesn't exist. - Evan Goldberg
#Doing
#Effects
#Exist
#Thrill
#Visual
Every screenwriter worships at the altar of Robert Towne, and we do. - Stephen McFeely
#Altar
#Every
#Robert
#Screenwriter
When we're shooting, I'm in producer mode. - Bryan Cogman
#Mode
#Producer
#Shooting
'Fault' became the book everybody and their mother had to read, and 'Paper Towns' is one that's beloved, but it's a bit of a smaller book. - Wyck Godfrey
#Book
#Everybody
#Fault
#Mother
#Paper
We found the appetite for 'Frontline' has only grown as the digital landscape has exploded. The appetite for the reporting we do on our digital platforms to the short films we're doing for our Facebook and YouTube channels. And we're still producing these remarkable long-form films. - Raney Aronson-Rath
#Digital
#Doing
#Only
#Short
#YouTube
I've always had this impression that notoriety came when you're trying to get notoriety. - Ariel Rechtshaid
#Always
#Get
#Had
#Impression
#Trying
I love television; I specifically love having a dumb character on a TV show. - Bill Lawrence
#Character
#Dumb
#Love
#Show
#Television
I fell in love with David Bowie in 'Labyrinth'. That's probably the initial fantasy movie that I saw and fell in love with. - Lauren Schmidt Hissrich
#Fantasy
#Initial
#Labyrinth
#Love
#Saw
Word of mouth is everything. - Gary Goetzman
#Everything
#Mouth
#Word
I don't do albums for album sales. I just do it as a conversation piece and a business card. - Statik Selektah
#Business
#Conversation
#Just Do It
#Just
I was the first one to say, 'I'll cover that, I'll stay late. I'll go to that shoot.' Anything I could do to add to my job description... I also found out - you can't learn this in college - but I had a knack for dealing with talent in stressful situations and knowing how to make them feel comfortable and also being fairly truthful. - Lindsay Shookus
#Comfortable
#Feel
#Late
#Shoot
#Talent
We only had a couple of ways for people to hate us on 'X-Files,' including still writing actual fan letters. Now people can instantly tell you, 'Oh my God, I love you,' or 'Oh my God, you are the worst person on the planet.' They actually had to hate you enough or love you enough to write a letter, put a stamp on it and send it. - Jeffrey Bell
#God
#Hate
#Love
#People
#Person
I got into writing to become a 'Star Trek' writer. I was a rabid fan. I had shelves and shelves and shelves of action figures in my bedroom that scared away more dates than I care to admit to. - Bryan Fuller
#Action
#Bedroom
#Care
#Fan
#Scared
It's a very good idea that we have a third term Labour government led by Tony Blair for a full term. - Peter Mandelson
#Good Idea
#Good
#Government
#Labour
#Led
It's shortsighted not to view the education of a future generation of Americans as a priority for all Americans. - Mel Martinez
#Education
#Future
#Generation
#View
If youth is a defect, it is one we outgrow too soon. - Robert Lowell
#Defect
#Outgrow
#Soon
#Too
#Youth
Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free. - Emma Lazarus
#Breathe
#Free
#Me
#Poor
#Tired
I don't enjoy hearing the sound of my voice. The most important things for me are impossible to articulate extemporaneously. - Annie Baker
#Important
#Impossible
#Me
#Sound
#Voice
When you do a film, when you do a television show, eventually someone comes along and will say to you, 'Don't say that because, one, you will offend someone, or, two, no one will get that. Someone's going to be confused by that, not get the reference and feel abandoned, and then they will get angry at the entertainment.' - Douglas Carter Beane
#Angry
#Entertainment
#Feel
#Television
Frankly, seeing my plays with an audience is something I do with gritted teeth; I find the experience very difficult. I love the moment when you have just the dress rehearsal, when no one's there; that's kind of the peak to me. When people start filing in, I like to file out. - Richard Greenberg
#Dress
#Experience
#Love
#Me
#Moment
As I told you, from the time I was fifteen, I thought the theater was too much involved with actors trying to make the audience love them, being over emotional. - Richard Foreman
#Audience
#Love
#Time
#Too Much
#Trying
My agent in London says all New York films are wonderful if they're really New York films because they're like travelogues. - Israel Horovitz
#Agent
#Because
#Like
#New
#Wonderful
I'm half Puerto Rican and half Jewish and so, in some ways, living in many worlds at once is where I feel most at home. - Quiara Alegria Hudes
#Feel
#Half
#Home
#I Feel
#Living
There's no demand for a body of work, though writers will be criticized for not having produced one. - David Rabe
#Body
#Demand
#Though
#Will
#Work
I grew up reading comic books. Super hero comic books, Archie comic books, horror comic books, you name it. - Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa
#Comic
#Hero
#Horror
#Name
#Reading
I'm very comfortable in the air. And if you're really in love with flight, you're in love to a certain extent with being outside of the body, not grounded. The problem is, if you're not in your body, you can't actually feel anything particularly authentically. - Ellen McLaughlin
#Air
#Body
#Comfortable
#Feel
#Love
I grew up in a family where the love of stories is very strong. And there's also a love of performance. I think one reason stories were so important in my family was that we moved around a lot. - Ann-Marie MacDonald
#Family
#Important
#Love
#Performance
#Up
Benjamin Franklin performed a beautiful experiment using surfactants: on a pond at Clapham Common, he poured a small amount of oleic acid, a natural surfactant which tends to form a dense film at the water-air interface. - Pierre-Gilles de Gennes
#Acid
#Beautiful
#Experiment
#Film
#Pond
Indeed, scientific truth by consensus has had a uniformly bad history. - David Douglass
#Bad
#Consensus
#History
#Indeed
#Truth
I had some vague memory of visiting Canberra as a lad, when we came up with my father by car. But when I made the long train journey from Sydney to Canberra and arrived at the little stop, I did wonder slightly whether this really was the national capital. - John Henry Carver
#Car
#Father
#Journey
#Long
#Memory
Calling on each molecule one by one? No way. I just told all of them to be quiet - except for a selected few. - Stefan Hell
#Calling
#Few
#Just
#Quiet
#Way
I entered the Physics Department in 1950, receiving a Master's degree in 1953 and a Ph.D. in 1956. It is difficult to convey the sense of excitement that pervaded the Department at that time. - Jerome Isaac Friedman
#Difficult
#Excitement
#Physics
#Time
It seems to me that the Swedish Academy of Science may be qualifying for the Nobel Peace Prize. It recognises no nationality; it discourages unworthy national feeling and prejudice. - Charles Glover Barkla
#Feeling
#Me
#Peace
#Prejudice
#Science
I am certain that our Max Planck Institute in Stuttgart will increasingly be an international meeting place open to scientists of all countries. - Klaus von Klitzing
#I Am
#Meeting
#Open
#Place
#Will
Science moves fastest when there's plenty of debate and controversy. - Lee Smolin
#Controversy
#Debate
#Moves
#Science
By the time we made the discovery in 2015, the National Science Foundation had put close to $1.1 billion into it. - Rainer Weiss
#Discovery
#Foundation
#Science
#Time
My recollection of the higher school certificate, which involved a practical exam in physics, was being confronted with an experiment involving a sort of barometer arrangement, wondering why I couldn't make it work. - Peter Higgs
#Experiment
#Physics
#School
#Why
#Work
I wish to thank the Royal Swedish Academy of Sciences very sincerely for the great honour they have done me. It is an honour so great that even yet it is difficult for me to believe that it is true. - Ernest Walton
#Believe
#Difficult
#Great
#Me
#True
My father came from a Quaker family. His father was a professional artist who did portraits - very traditional, a lot of religious subjects. - Roger Penrose
#Artist
#Family
#Father
#Professional
I worked a little as a messenger on a bicycle and then decided to study photography and film. - Ori Gersht
#Bicycle
#Film
#Little
#Messenger
#Study
I don't digitally manipulate my images, because I am interested in the spontaneous act of creating images without forethought. I know many artists start with an idea in mind, and then they put it on paper. I don't work that way. - Lois Greenfield
#I Am
#Mind
#Start
#Way
#Work
I try to consider each body of work on its own terms, discretely, so terms like 'sculpture' or 'photography', in their broad sense, don't really enter into my thinking. - Walead Beshty
#Body
#Own
#Thinking
#Try
#Work
Most people catch them breaching from the surface when they're shooting out of the water. I have them breaching from underwater in a 16-time sequence, a shark leaving the water and then reentering the water. - Michael Muller
#Out
#People
#Shooting
#Underwater
#Water
Black-and-white photography, which I was doing in the very early days, was essentially called art photography and usually consisted of landscapes by people like Ansel Adams and Edward Weston. But photographs by people like Adams didn't interest me. - William Eggleston
#Art
#Doing
#Landscapes
#Me
#People
I try and play 2 or 3 times a week to stay on my game. - Tim Page
#Game
#Play
#Stay
#Try
#Week
In Haiti, it - people seemed - in my experience in Haiti, people are so open to photographs and journalism. And there doesn't seem to be the same sort of restrictions or wariness about the press that you would experience in Washington, for instance, on many levels. - Carol Guzy
#Experience
#Journalism
#Open
#People
I want my photos to be fresh and urgent. A good photograph should be a call to arms. - Terry Richardson
#Arms
#Call
#Fresh
#Good
#Want
I think what happens is that you do the project first, then you think about what it's about. Years later, you figure out why you've done things. - Steven Klein
#Done
#First
#Happens
#Project
#Why
I'm always mentally photographing everything as practice. - Minor White
#Always
#Everything
#Mentally
#Practice
People think: 'If this photographer's looking like a big jerk-off, maybe it's okay if I do.' I like to catch my subjects off balance a bit. - Mick Rock
#Balance
#Big
#Looking
#Okay
#People
It's hard to understand why just walking around for two hours and taking pictures would be just a big deal, but once you try it, you'll fall in love with it. - Scott Kelby
#Fall
#Love
#Understand
#Walking
#Why
I'm not very good at science or math, even though I pretend. And I'm not very good at teaching. I'm not very patient. - Rick Smolan
#Good
#Pretend
#Science
#Teaching
#Though
So many people are exploiting the name Picasso - and, in a way, even the estate is doing it. - David Douglas Duncan
#Doing
#Name
#People
#So Many People
#Way
When I have had such men before my camera my whole soul has endeavored to do its duty towards them in recording faithfully the greatness of the inner as well as the features of the outer man. The photograph thus taken has been almost the embodiment of a prayer. - Julia Margaret Cameron
#Greatness
#Man
#Men
#Prayer
#Soul
Photography can never grow up if it imitates some other medium. It has to walk alone; it has to be itself. - Berenice Abbott
#Alone
#Grow
#Never
#Up
#Walk
I don't photograph any two people who are remotely the same. - Jock Sturges
#People
#Same
#Two People
#Two
#Who
I have autoimmune disease, thyroid problems, and I've been diagnosed pre-diabetic. - Amanda de Cadenet
#Been
#Disease
#Problems
#Thyroid
Dolomite is a whole mess of stuff, a mixture. It gets characterised as 'a stuff' because of the interest of oil geologists. It would have been a nonentity were it not for its applications. - Ian Hacking
#Because
#Interest
#Mess
#Oil
#Would
Perfect freedom is reserved for the man who lives by his own work and in that work does what he wants to do. - Robin G. Collingwood
#Freedom
#Man
#Own
#Perfect
#Work
Saturn seems to have impressed the seal of melancholy on me from the beginning. - Marsilio Ficino
#Beginning
#Me
#Melancholy
#Saturn
#Seal
The standardized American is largely a myth created not least by Americans themselves. - Irwin Edman
#American
#Least
#Myth
#Standardized
Socialism is nothing but the capitalism of the lower classes. - Oswald Spengler
#Capitalism
#Lower
#Nothing
#Socialism
I used to teach at Yale, which was at one time a center of postmodernist literary theory. Derrida was there. Paul de Man was there. - Harry Frankfurt
#Center
#Man
#Teach
#Theory
#Time
My interests started about in science and in mathematics; I always thought I was going to be a mathematician. - David Chalmers
#About
#Always
#Mathematics
#Science
I'm not in a position to tell anyone anything about how to live his or her life, but I think it's worth noting that no one can lie to us as effectively as we can lie to ourselves. We know exactly what to say! And I do think that women, even extremely smart women, can be very, very vulnerable to men. - Jean Hanff Korelitz
#Lie
#Life
#Men
#Smart
#Women
The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on. - Joseph Heller
#Enemy
#Going
#He
#Matter
#Side
First a piece of Irish wisdom: you should always listen to a bookie. For they have a saying, 'Money tells a good story,' and somewhere in their odds is a kind of science-fiction existentialism that decrees that we, the people, know everything. In other words, betting patterns often make for good, unconscious soothsaying. - Frank Delaney
#Good
#Money
#People
#Wisdom
#Words
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