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Simon Hoggart
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Living in New York is like being at some terrible late-night party. You're tired, you've had a headache since you arrived, but you can't leave because then you'd miss the party.
- Simon Hoggart
#Headache
#Leave
#Living
#New
#Tired
Even I would find a book about my life pretty dull.
- Simon Hoggart
#Book
#Dull
#Find
#Life
#My Life
The formal Washington dinner party has all the spontaneity of a Japanese imperial funeral.
- Simon Hoggart
#Dinner Party
#Dinner
#Formal
#Funeral
One of the pleasures of staying with friends is that you get to browse their shelves. I always arrive with a book, but I almost never read it. It would be like sitting at their dinner table and opening a packet of sandwiches.
- Simon Hoggart
#Always
#Dinner
#Never
#Sitting
#Table
Americans are fascinated by their own love of shopping. This does not make them unique. It's just that they have more to buy than most other people on the planet. And it's also an affirmation of faith in their country.
- Simon Hoggart
#Country
#Faith
#Love
#Shopping
#Unique
Life was so much simpler in pre-video days when everyone refused invitations because the 'Forsyte Saga' was on. Now we all just have a long list of unwatched shows, all of which, it seems, our friends are raving about. I feel as outdated as if I wore a Fair Isle sweater, ate Pot Noodle and had a two-bar electric fire in the sitting room.
- Simon Hoggart
#Everyone
#Feel
#Fire
#Life
#Long
Jim Sheridan, the MP who wants to ban sketchwriters from the Commons for being rude about politicians, is a blithering idiot. Sorry, scrub that - clearly a very thoughtful person with whom I might conceivably disagree on some marginal issues. A blithering savant, perhaps.
- Simon Hoggart
#Idiot
#Person
#Politicians
#Thoughtful
Most successful American politicians look well-fed on endorsements, campaign contributions and chicken dinners.
- Simon Hoggart
#American
#Campaign
#Look
#Politicians
A married vicar is likely to regard his vocation as a job - a tough and ill-paid one, to be sure - but a priest is seen as a pillar of the community, answerable only to his parishioners and his God, rather than to a wife and children.
- Simon Hoggart
#Children
#Community
#God
#Tough
#Wife
I think the great thing about grandparents is seeing another home, realising that people you love can have different priorities, different diversions, different opinions and lead quite different lives from the ones you see every day, and that is immensely valuable.
- Simon Hoggart
#Day
#Every Day
#Great
#Home
#Love
Kind 'Guardian' readers have been forwarding me round robin Christmas newsletters for years now: lengthy missives full of perfect children, exotic holidays, talented pets and endless, tedious detail. The notes that accompanied them revealed they had inspired in the original recipients everything from mild irritation to absolute rage.
- Simon Hoggart
#Children
#Christmas
#Me
#Now
#Perfect
What has always puzzled me is the flexibility of God's word. For instance, Catholics can now eat meat on Fridays. And limbo has been abolished. How does this work? Who tells them?
- Simon Hoggart
#Always
#God
#Me
#Meat
#Work
I also learned to play Fruit Ninja on an iPad. It is quite hypnotic, and I hope one day to get past 100 points. I remembered that David Cameron admits to being an addict. I wonder if it helps him in his work. 'Great, just destroyed a pineapple! Reminds me, shall we send those grenades to the Syrian rebels?'
- Simon Hoggart
#Day
#Fruit
#Great
#Hope
#Work
I cannot be alone in being pretty nauseated by Red Nose Day, or at least its television manifestation. Do I think that wretchedly poor children in Africa should get food and life-saving drugs? Of course. Do I want to be hectored into contributing by celebrities who earn more in a 10-minute slot than many of these families get in a year? Nope.
- Simon Hoggart
#Alone
#Children
#Day
#Food
#Television
I know of no wars started by anyone to impose lack of religion on someone else. We have lethal Sunni v Shia, Catholic against Protestant, but no agnostic suicide bombers attack crowded atheist pubs.
- Simon Hoggart
#Atheist
#Attack
#Know
#Religion
#Suicide
During my own gap year, I learned an invaluable lesson - that I was a lousy teacher. Even though the children I 'taught,' in upcountry Uganda, were desperate for qualifications, they largely ignored me. Until, that is, I realised that they wanted to hear about other young persons around the world.
- Simon Hoggart
#Children
#Me
#Teacher
#World
#Young
It's sad that the BBC is toning down Dennis the Menace for a cartoon series. He is losing his weapons, catapult and peashooter, will no longer pick on Walter the Softy, and his ferocious grimace is to be replaced by a charming, boyish smile.
- Simon Hoggart
#Charming
#Losing
#Sad
#Smile
#Will
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