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Paul Merton
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I looked at longevity in show business when I was about 13, and the people who seemed to have longevity were the ones who'd spent quite a bit of time learning about what they were doing before they made it.
- Paul Merton
#Business
#Doing
#Learning
#People
#Time
I remember being fascinated by the very nature of comedy from the age of 10; why is this funny, and that isn't?
- Paul Merton
#Age
#Comedy
#Funny
#Nature
#Remember
Am I allowed to call myself working-class now? Because obviously I'm now very rich.
- Paul Merton
#Because
#Call
#Myself
#Now
#Rich
On my first day in New York a guy asked me if I knew where Central Park was. When I told him I didn't he said, 'Do you mind if I mug you here?'.
- Paul Merton
#Central Park
#Day
#Me
#Mind
#New
I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
- Paul Merton
#Air
#Always
#Hear
#Know
#Understand
I have never sold my story, done 'Hello!' magazine, any of that stuff. I'm not guilty of exploiting my private life for cash and then saying, 'Oh, I don't want to talk about my private life.' I've never crossed that line.
- Paul Merton
#Done
#Guilty
#Life
#Never
#Private Life
At one point in the mid-Eighties I shared a promoter with the Smiths. One night, we were sitting backstage when Morrissey burst in, utterly distraught, sobbing his heart out. Turns out someone had thrown a sausage at him on stage during 'Meat Is Murder.'
- Paul Merton
#Heart
#Night
#Point
#Sitting
#Stage
When things are difficult, awful, stressful, the thing that always gets you through is a sense of humour. I don't mean - well, maybe I do - laugh at the hangman as he puts the noose around your neck. But an eye, an ear, for the ridiculous, the absurd in life, can get you through a lot.
- Paul Merton
#Always
#Difficult
#Laugh
#Life
#Mean
I was never one to go up to someone as a five- or six-year-old and say, 'Hello, my name's Paul, will you be my friend?' But I found if I did an impression of the PE teacher or whatever and people laughed, then they did like me, and so then they started talking to me, rather than me making the initial overture and then maybe being rebuffed.
- Paul Merton
#Me
#Never
#People
#Teacher
#Will
In 1986, I was attacked in the street as I helped Neil Mullarkey from the Comedy Store Players to put up posters. We were in the wrong place at the wrong time - midnight - and we were English. I got kicked in the head.
- Paul Merton
#Comedy
#Place
#Street
#Time
#Wrong
I was flying to the Maldives in 2000 when the plane went through turbulence - after that, I didn't fly for four years. Then a job came up in India, so I did a simulator flight and learnt about what goes on in the cockpit. I'm fine now.
- Paul Merton
#Fly
#Four
#Job
#Now
#Through
Well, sanity, I suppose, is getting people to see the world your way.
- Paul Merton
#People
#Sanity
#See
#Way
#World
My school days were the happiest days of my life; which should give you some indication of the misery I've endured over the past twenty-five years.
- Paul Merton
#Days
#Life
#My Life
#Past
#School
The thing about improvisation is that it's not about what you say. It's listening to what other people say. It's about what you hear.
- Paul Merton
#Hear
#Listening
#People Say
#People
#Say
When I wake up on a Monday morning and I realise I don't have to go and work at the civil service, I really think I've won.
- Paul Merton
#Go
#Morning
#Service
#Wake Up
#Work
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