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Lenny Bruce
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All my humor is based on destruction and despair. If the whole world were tranquil, without disease and violence, I'd be standing in the bread line - right in back of J. Edgar Hoover.
- Lenny Bruce
#Back
#Bread
#Humor
#Violence
#World
I don't read enough books, so I guess I'm pretty shallow. I'm a lot into the physical. With me, first attraction is never intellectual.
- Lenny Bruce
#Enough
#First
#Intellectual
#Me
#Never
If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone.
- Lenny Bruce
#Cast
#First
#Hot
#Lead
#Stone
If God made the body, and the body is dirty, then the fault lies with the manufacturer.
- Lenny Bruce
#Body
#Dirty
#Fault
#God
#Made
The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter.
- Lenny Bruce
#Daughter
#Guy
#Only
#Up
#Your
The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it... try to fake three laughs in an hour - ha ha ha ha ha - they'll take you away, man. You can't.
- Lenny Bruce
#Art
#Comedy
#Fake
#Laughter
#Man
If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses.
- Lenny Bruce
#Children
#Little
#School
#Years Ago
When you're eight years old nothing is your business.
- Lenny Bruce
#Business
#Funny
#Nothing
#Old
#Your
I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like: What I'm going to be if I grow up.
- Lenny Bruce
#Grow
#Own
#School
#Tough
#Up
I'll die young, but it's like kissing God.
- Lenny Bruce
#Die
#God
#Kissing
#Like
#Young
The 'what should be' never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to it. There is no 'what should be,' there is only what is.
- Lenny Bruce
#Keep
#Live
#Never
#People
#Trying
Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.
- Lenny Bruce
#Beach
#Die
#Funny
#Miami
#Where
The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.
- Lenny Bruce
#Everything
#Liberals
#People
#Understand
I'm not a comedian. And I'm not sick. The world is sick, and I'm the doctor. I'm a surgeon with a scalpel for false values.
- Lenny Bruce
#Doctor
#Sick
#Surgeon
#Values
#World
There are never enough I Love You's.
- Lenny Bruce
#Enough
#I Love
#Love
#Never
#You
Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.
- Lenny Bruce
#Church
#Day
#Every Day
#God
#People
Communism is like one big phone company.
- Lenny Bruce
#Big
#Communism
#Company
#Funny
#Phone
In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls.
- Lenny Bruce
#Halls
#Justice
#Legal
#Only
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