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Jimmy Carr
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I go around the country and do a simple gag like, 'The property ladder is now a snake' and get a real laugh.
- Jimmy Carr
#Country
#Laugh
#Real
#Simple
#Snake
They say the people most affected by the credit crunch are pensioners - well, let go of the handbag then, Nanna.
- Jimmy Carr
#Credit
#Go
#People
#Say
#They Say
More people are going out to comedy shows than they were before.
- Jimmy Carr
#Comedy
#Going
#More
#Out
#People
I was in love with the idea of being in love with a woman way before I was actually in love with one.
- Jimmy Carr
#Being In Love
#Being
#Love
#Way
#Woman
Women were quite terrifying until I was older. I think that's partly down to confidence.
- Jimmy Carr
#Confidence
#Down
#Quite
#Think
#Women
After a gig I always head back to the hotel, remembering granny's words of wisdom. I cancel the late-night pizza and watch the Jonathan Ross show instead.
- Jimmy Carr
#Back
#Hotel
#Pizza
#Wisdom
#Words
A surprising amount of my jokes sound very implausible but are true.
- Jimmy Carr
#Amount
#Jokes
#Sound
#Surprising
#True
I'm obsessed with TV. How wrong our parents were when they said we should only watch an hour a day. Stop wasting your time reading books.
- Jimmy Carr
#Day
#Parents
#Stop
#Time
#Wrong
You go, well you can't joke about race. Well if you're from a different race and that's your experience of the world and you want to talk about that, then fine. Or you can't talk about disability, but disabled comics can talk about that.
- Jimmy Carr
#Experience
#Go
#Race
#Talk
#World
The first few weeks of joining Weight Watchers, you're just finding your feet.
- Jimmy Carr
#Feet
#Finding
#First
#Weight
#Your
It's so clear cut with a comedian - you have that reflex action, whereby you laugh or you don't. And so you either love us or you simply cannot see why people are laughing.
- Jimmy Carr
#Action
#Laugh
#Love
#People
#Why
You never want to be the grumpy guy, although I do have quite a grumpy face.
- Jimmy Carr
#Face
#Grumpy
#Guy
#Never
#Want
I don't think it's any coincidence that I lost my religious faith and 'manned up' in the same year. I was described somewhere as a lapsed Catholic, which is funny because I'm not going back! I want to achieve things rather than live life in an animalistic way.
- Jimmy Carr
#Faith
#Funny
#Life
#Live
#Lost
I was in the South of France. I saw a Brownie on a school trip. She was holding up a book. It said on the front 'rough guide'. I thought: 'Yeah' she's not a looker.
- Jimmy Carr
#Book
#Guide
#Rough
#School
#She
I was a Christian. I didn't want to have sex before marriage, I was a bit uptight and not very self-confident. I was a virgin until I was 26.
- Jimmy Carr
#Christian
#Marriage
#Sex
#Until
#Want
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