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Helen Fisher
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More and more of us live segmented, compartmentalized lives. This isn't natural. For millions of years, our forebears knew everyone around them and everyone knew them.
- Helen Fisher
#Around
#Everyone
#Live
#More
#Us
The reason you take antidepressants is to feel calm. And romantic love is not calm - it's elation, it's mood swings, and you're killing all that when you take the drug.
- Helen Fisher
#Calm
#Love Is
#Love
#Mood
#Romantic
Anthropologists have found evidence of romantic love in 170 societies. They've never found a society that did not have it.
- Helen Fisher
#Evidence
#Love
#Never
#Romantic
#Society
In courtship, who wins and who loses will determine who passes on their DNA to tomorrow.
- Helen Fisher
#Courtship
#DNA
#Tomorrow
#Who
#Will
In general, men are wired to notice obvious signs that convey interest in mating - a warm smile, for example - and ignore other subtleties, like if your lipstick is faded.
- Helen Fisher
#Ignore
#Lipstick
#Men
#Signs
#Smile
Until recently, we regarded love as supernatural. We were willing to study the brain chemistry of fear and depression and anger but not love.
- Helen Fisher
#Anger
#Brain
#Depression
#Fear
#Love
When you fight, anger drives up testosterone in both men and women.
- Helen Fisher
#Anger
#Fight
#Men And Women
#Men
#Women
Experiences shape the brain, but the brain shapes the way we view experiences, too.
- Helen Fisher
#Brain
#Shape
#Shapes
#View
#Way
Psychologists maintain that the dizzying feeling of intense romantic love lasts only about 18 months to - at best - three years.
- Helen Fisher
#Best
#Feeling
#Love
#Romantic
#Three
Blushing is thought to be linked to increased levels of norepinephrine in the brain, which may be associated with romantic feelings. It signals that we are interested and excited, which is attractive to men.
- Helen Fisher
#Brain
#Excited
#Feelings
#Men
#Romantic
I think romantic love evolved to enable you to focus your mating energy on just one individual at a time, thereby conserving mating time and energy.
- Helen Fisher
#Energy
#Focus
#Love
#Romantic
#Time
Romantic love allows you to focus mating energy. Attachment sustains that relationship as long as necessary to raise your baby.
- Helen Fisher
#Focus
#Love
#Relationship
#Romantic
When you're in the throes of this romantic love, it's overwhelming - you're out of control, you're irrational, you're going to the gym at 6 A.M. every day - Why? Because she's there.
- Helen Fisher
#Control
#Day
#Every Day
#Love
#Romantic
If two very different people pool their DNA, they'll create more genetic variety, and their young will come to the job of parenting with a wider array of skills.
- Helen Fisher
#Create
#DNA
#Parenting
#People
#Young
Today, most women are surrounded by ingenious gadgets. They don't grow the peas or raise the chicken that they serve for dinner; instead they hunt and gather in the grocery store. They go through catalogs or department stores to buy clothes instead of shearing sheep, carding wool, and weaving cloth for skirts and coats and blankets.
- Helen Fisher
#Dinner
#Grow
#Sheep
#Today
#Women
Men couldn't care less if your strands are perfectly styled and neat. In fact, he might like you more with some wildness or bedhead, since it shows you're carefree and relaxed.
- Helen Fisher
#Care
#He
#Men
#More
#Your
From my studies of genetics and neuroscience I have come to believe that people fall into four broad personality types - each influenced by a different brain chemical: I call them the Explorer, Builder, Director, and Negotiator.
- Helen Fisher
#Believe
#Brain
#Fall
#Four
#Personality
Mothers really were not built to raise babies not only by themselves, but with only a partner. For millions of years, a woman had much more than just her husband to help rear her young... This whole idea of 'it takes a village to raise a child' is exactly how we're supposed to live.
- Helen Fisher
#Live
#Partner
#Village
#Woman
#Young
Barriers tend to intensify romance. It's called the 'Romeo and Juliet effect.' I call it 'frustration attraction.'
- Helen Fisher
#Attraction
#Barriers
#Call
#Frustration
People have often asked me whether what I know about love has spoiled it for me. And I just simply say, 'Hardly.' You can know every single ingredient in a piece of chocolate cake, and then when you sit down and eat that cake, you can still feel that joy.
- Helen Fisher
#Cake
#Feel
#Joy
#Love
#Me
Research shows that couples who have a lot of similarities, including intellectual compatibility, end up staying together.
- Helen Fisher
#End
#Intellectual
#Research
#Together
Nobody gets out of love alive. You turn into a menace or a pest when you've been rejected.
- Helen Fisher
#Alive
#Love
#Nobody
#Pest
#Turn
The Great Depression of the 1930s saw more American unmarried women working from nine to five, mostly in repetitive, boring, subordinate, dead-end jobs. But the number of working women doubled between 1870 and 1940. During World War II it doubled once again.
- Helen Fisher
#American
#Boring
#Great
#War
#Women
#World
Natural beauty really entices men. They will tell you this time and time again, and studies consistently prove it.
- Helen Fisher
#Beauty
#Men
#Natural Beauty
#Time
#Will
There's biology in everything, even when you're feeling spiritual.
- Helen Fisher
#Biology
#Everything
#Feeling
#Spiritual
When you massage someone, the levels of oxytocin go up in the brain, and oxytocin is one of the chemicals that drives attachment.
- Helen Fisher
#Brain
#Go
#Massage
#Someone
#Up
Any kind of novelty or excitement drives up dopamine in the brain, and dopamine is associated with romantic love.
- Helen Fisher
#Brain
#Excitement
#Love
#Romantic
#Up
Romantic love is an addiction.
- Helen Fisher
#Addiction
#Love Is
#Love
#Romantic
Jealousy can even be good for love. One partner may feel secretly flattered when the other is mildly jealous. And catching someone flirting with your beloved can spark the kind of lust and romance that reignites a relationship.
- Helen Fisher
#Good
#Jealousy
#Love
#Lust
#Relationship
Why do we feel jealousy? Therapists often regard the demon as a scar of childhood trauma or a symptom of a psychological problem. And it's true that people who feel inadequate, insecure, or overly dependent tend to be more jealous than others.
- Helen Fisher
#Childhood
#Feel
#Jealousy
#People
#Trauma
#True
Your sweetheart calls you by another's name. His eyes linger too long on your best friend. He talks with excitement about a girl at work. And the fire catches. Jealousy - that sickening combination of possessiveness, suspicion, rage, and humiliation - can overtake your mind and threaten your very core as you contemplate your rival.
- Helen Fisher
#Best
#Eyes
#Fire
#Jealousy
#Work
Men have a psychological need to show off their courage and strength. When he sees you talking to another guy, that instinct kicks in and he jumps to protect you and prove he's worthy of your love.
- Helen Fisher
#Courage
#Love
#Men
#Need
#Strength
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