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Hari Nef

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If you're going to make a film about rage in 2018, 2017... If you're going to make a film about revenge and anger, I feel like that has to be a film about women. I don't really want to watch a film about angry men. I've seen way too many of those. - Hari Nef

I'm fun, ruthless, articulate, impatient, maybe a little cavalier. I'm a woman and a feminist. I'm transgender. I'm an actress, a reluctant writer, occasionally a potato-shaped model. - Hari Nef

I feel like my transition, in a broader sense, began the second I left home and came to New York. Because all of a sudden, I opened myself up to options about how to be. - Hari Nef

I live in a little studio apartment, so I try to keep the space super clean at all times. - Hari Nef

I get a facial maybe a couple of times a year. - Hari Nef

If we didn't desensitize ourselves in some way, every day would feel like its own tragedy. - Hari Nef

Being a woman is an option, being trans is an option, and they're options that appeal to me. We need to listen to people - not labels, not semantics. - Hari Nef

I can say with confidence that my trans/transfeminine identity emerges as the most heavily problematized aspect of my lived experience. My transness is not a problem on its own but problematized by a society that reviles it, hates it, fails to understand it - or does not wish to. - Hari Nef

I think it's an oversimplification of somebody's worth to 'cancel' them. We're so quick to cancel but also so quick to lift somebody up as 'the queen,' 'the mom,' 'the dad,' 'the god.' - Hari Nef

I prefer men who are queer. Not gay men, but queer men - guys with an open mind. Bisexual men, because they're able to understand the different elements of the body without judging that I don't conform to a certain ideal. - Hari Nef

Whatever surgery someone wants to get is none of your business. - Hari Nef

A pink sneaker is like walking down the street at five miles per hour with a Starbucks in your hand. Nobody is getting in your way. - Hari Nef

Sometimes it feels like people can't wrap their head around the notion that an 'androgynous' trans woman with shorter hair could be beautiful. - Hari Nef

I feel like so much of mainstream feminism springs from the second wave, which was essentially a discourse spearheaded by white, cisgender, upper middle class women. I feel - especially as I'm trying to negotiate this new female space with the feminism that's available to me - there are a lot of places where I'm disenfranchised. - Hari Nef

I see a Reiki healer from time to time. She sits on my bed, and I lie in her lap. She puts her hands on me for about 45 minutes, and she reads my energy. Whenever I'm having a hard time, I call her. I also go to weekly therapy, and that has been invaluable. Also, getting on medication for my 'neural atypicalities,' I guess we might call them. - Hari Nef

I keep a very cold apartment - I tend to crank my AC just about as low as it can go. I sleep with a big, warm comforter, even during the summer, and just burrow underneath it. - Hari Nef

I was romantically socialized as a gay man, and now that I am, for most intents and purposes, a heterosexual woman, I have to learn how to talk to straight men, which is the scariest thing I've ever done. - Hari Nef

There's something very noble about the bowling shoe. It has very little pretense, and it's kind of naughty. You have to share them with a bunch of other people, which is so kinky in a way that I like. What other shoes would you actively share with other people? - Hari Nef

In an ideal world, I wouldn't have to change my body. I wouldn't have to do all this stuff. I wouldn't have to be pretty or 'feminine,' and people would respect that. - Hari Nef

To see a trans body in this ideal space - on a cover, in an ad - these are spaces that have immense cultural power to dictate what is beautiful, what is glamorous, what is aspirational, what is sexy, what is clean. That can be very powerful and helpful in the de-stigmatization of trans bodies. - Hari Nef

Fragrance is important to me because of its emotional dimension. I feel like fragrances are able to transport, stir emotion, and bring up memories. You can wear makeup, you can dress yourself up, but fragrance gives a powerful aspect to how you can present yourself that you can't necessarily get any other way. - Hari Nef

Sexuality is who you want to be with. Gender identity is who you want to be in the world. - Hari Nef

Visibility is not, in itself, always a good thing, but when it is in the hands of those who need positive visibility, it can be. - Hari Nef

I used to think I was a gay man with this idea of a muse in my head, like a woman that I thought was inspirational or aspirational. But the woman was actually me. - Hari Nef

Trans-dating is hardcore, and it's really scary. And that's coming from me, someone who couldn't be dating in a more open-minded Manhattan pool of artsy boys and creative folk. Not saying it all sucks. I'm just saying it's not easy. - Hari Nef

I liked playing video games because I felt like I was inside of the story in a way that I didn't feel when I was just watching something. Any chance I could get to step into the shoes of another person, I would take. I couldn't get enough of stories. - Hari Nef

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