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Benny Hill
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I changed it to Leslie Hill, only that seemed more like a cocktail pianist. Eventually, being an admirer of Jack Benny, I took his name.
- Benny Hill
#Cocktail
#Hill
#More
#Name
#Only
If you can mix glamor and gags, then you can catch the audience twice over.
- Benny Hill
#Audience
#Catch
#Mix
#Over
#Twice
I have a mental age of about 17. Far too young for marriage.
- Benny Hill
#About
#Age
#Far
#Marriage
#Young
I sometimes use a girl singer the way Henny Youngman uses his violin - as a bridge between one laugh and the next.
- Benny Hill
#Bridge
#Laugh
#Sometimes
#Violin
#Way
I'm single. I don't have a family. I certainly don't have to work. I don't want to be the richest man in the cemetery.
- Benny Hill
#Cemetery
#Family
#Man
#Want
#Work
A man who fails is funny... if my sketches teach anything, it is that, for the male, sex is a snare and a delusion. What's so corrupting about that?
- Benny Hill
#Anything
#Delusion
#Funny
#Man
#Sex
Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand.
- Benny Hill
#Grand
#Like
#Pianos
#Upright
I don't do something I won't enjoy just for the money. I do it for the fun, for the joy of working.
- Benny Hill
#Enjoy
#Fun
#Joy
#Money
#Something
I used to watch all these great fat women in the audience laughing at the comic, and I would think how wonderful it would be to be that man. He was surrounded by pretty girls, he obviously got more money than anyone else, and everyone loved him.
- Benny Hill
#Fat
#Great
#Man
#Money
#Women
Those hot pants of hers were so damned tight, I could hardly breathe.
- Benny Hill
#Breathe
#Hot
#Pants
#Those
#Tight
I'm not against half naked girls - not as often as I'd like to be.
- Benny Hill
#Against
#Half
#Like
#Naked
#Often
Do unto others, then run.
- Benny Hill
#Do Unto Others
#Others
#Run
#Then
#Unto
I thought I couldn't afford to take her out and smoke as well. So I gave up cigarettes. Then I took her out and one day I looked at her and thought: 'Oh well,' and I went back to smoking again, and that was better.
- Benny Hill
#Back
#Better
#Day
#Smoke
#Smoking
The odds against there being a bomb on a plane are a million to one, and against two bombs a million times a million to one. Next time you fly, cut the odds and take a bomb.
- Benny Hill
#Fly
#Next
#Odds
#Time
#Two
Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.
- Benny Hill
#Just Because
#Mean
#Nobody
#Perfect
What we've discovered is that Americans seem to love our saucy humor.
- Benny Hill
#Humor
#Love
#Our
#Saucy
#Seem
#To Love
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