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Ali Wong
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#Tags
Whenever I feel mom-guilt, or I feel pressure to be a better mom - to cook salmon on a bed of quinoa for my kids - I just think to myself, 'I... have... suffered... enough.' And then I feel fine about feeding my toddler a bag of chips for dinner.
- Ali Wong
#Bag
#Dinner
#Mom
#Myself
#Pressure
My parents emphasized experiential learning - in my family, being adventurous was a sign of maturity.
- Ali Wong
#Family
#Learning
#Maturity
#Parents
My dad grew up with straight-up no running water. He slept in a twin bed with his two sisters and his mom, like 'Charlie And The Chocolate Factory' style: like, feet at the head, feet at the head alternating. And then I think his dad slept on, like, a bed of newspapers on a floor in their apartment.
- Ali Wong
#Dad
#Feet
#Mom
#Style
#Water
I'm discovering, and I think other mums are discovering too, that when you become a mum, you don't have to change into this frumpy, wholesome role model who is perfect and loses all of your identity. You can still have the same personality you've always had.
- Ali Wong
#Change
#Identity
#Perfect
#Personality
My goal is really to just make people laugh with integrity, like, with something that I still find funny.
- Ali Wong
#Find
#Funny
#Integrity
#Laugh
#People
The more socially conscious you are, the better the work you make.
- Ali Wong
#Better
#Conscious
#Make
#More
#Work
I don't want to be that famous.
- Ali Wong
#Famous
#Want
I constantly peed in my pants up until the 8th grade and wore an extra-large sailor uniform from kindergarten to 8th grade because my mom was scared I'd grow out of it. So I learned to make fun of myself at school and summer camp.
- Ali Wong
#Fun
#Grow
#Mom
#Myself
#School
Breastfeeding is this savage ritual that just reminds you that your body is a cafeteria now.
- Ali Wong
#Body
#Just
#Now
#Your Body
#Your
You know what male comics can't do? They can't get pregnant. They can't perform pregnant. So my attitude is, just use all those differences.
- Ali Wong
#Attitude
#Differences
#Get
#Just
#Know
I liked that improv and sketch comedy were collaborative, but you really depended on other people and a stage to perform. With stand-up comedy, I liked that you had no one else to blame and depend on.
- Ali Wong
#Blame
#Comedy
#Depend
#People
#Stage
I have this fantasy of relaxing and doing nothing. But I'm obviously very passionate about stand-up comedy. I mean, I keep doing it. So I must be really into it.
- Ali Wong
#Comedy
#Doing
#Fantasy
#Mean
#Nothing
I'm always asked how my husband is feeling about my success with a note of concern. He feels great. It's not hard to feel good about your spouse making money.
- Ali Wong
#Feel Good
#Good
#Great
#Money
#Success
I have a hoarding problem because my mom is from a third-world country. And she taught me that you can never throw away anything because you never know when a dictator is going to overtake the country and snatch all of your wealth.
- Ali Wong
#Country
#Know
#Me
#Mom
#Never
#Wealth
I tried being a stay-at-home mom for eight weeks. I like the stay-at-home part. Not too crazy about the mom aspect.
- Ali Wong
#About
#Being
#Crazy
#Mom
#Tried
There's a scene in 'Singin' in the Rain' where this guy dances with a giant doll while singing 'Make 'Em Laugh.' I remember loving the pure physicality of it.
- Ali Wong
#Doll
#Laugh
#Rain
#Remember
#Singing
I'll tell you how I balance family and career. I have a nanny.
- Ali Wong
#Balance
#Career
#Family
#How
#Tell
Just because you become a parent doesn't mean you grew up.
- Ali Wong
#Become
#Just Because
#Just
#Mean
#Up
Having a two-year-old is very hard. I feel like I'm in a relationship with an emotionally unstable woman who is also physically abusive and never gets in trouble for it.
- Ali Wong
#Feel
#Hard
#Relationship
#Trouble
#Woman
Some useful advice for all of my Asian-American brothers and sisters - never go paint-balling with a Vietnam veteran.
- Ali Wong
#Advice
#Go
#Never
#Useful
#Vietnam
To be a trophy wife, you have to be a trophy. I am more of a commemorative plaque.
- Ali Wong
#Am
#I Am
#More
#Trophy
#Wife
Food is a huge source of comfort for me.
- Ali Wong
#Comfort
#Food
#Huge
#Me
#Source
It's unfair to the hard-core stay-at-home moms to pretend you're able to have an amazing body by chasing around your kids.
- Ali Wong
#Amazing
#Body
#Pretend
#Unfair
#Your
With my husband, I do really appreciate the fact that we - even though we're different kinds of Asian, there is a cultural shorthand between us, and I don't have to explain anything. I've dated guys before who weren't Asian-American, and it frustrated me when I would have to defend why beans belong in a dessert.
- Ali Wong
#Explain
#Husband
#Me
#Us
#Why
My dad was obviously a really quirky, unconventional Asian man who didn't care about what other people thought. When he would fight with my mom, he would be really dramatic. He would be like, 'Devil, get away, for I am God's property.' He would say crazy things that were so melodramatic but so theatrical and funny.
- Ali Wong
#Dad
#Fight
#Funny
#God
#Mom
When you're a mom, you need sparkle to compensate for the light inside of you that has died.
- Ali Wong
#Inside
#Light
#Mom
#Need
#Sparkle
A lot of people like to ask me, 'Ali, how on earth do you balance family and career?' Men never get asked that question. Because they don't.
- Ali Wong
#Balance
#Earth
#Family
#Me
#Men
I think feminism is the worst thing that ever happened to women. Our job used to be no job. We had it so good!
- Ali Wong
#Good
#Happened
#Job
#Think
#Women
#Worst
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