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Alexandra Petri
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My first summer in college, I interned for Arena Stage in D.C. and taught a disastrous class on standup comedy to middle schoolers at the Arena Stage camp. I had never taught anything before, and needless to say, I quickly lost control of the class.
- Alexandra Petri
#Comedy
#Control
#Lost
#Never
#Stage
Standup comedy was my weird hobby. I would drag my poor parents out to the only open mics that were in coffee shops instead of bars. I'd get up and go, 'Hi, I'm 17, and I have jokes about matriculation!' At the time I was like, 'Why is no one laughing?'
- Alexandra Petri
#Coffee
#Parents
#Poor
#Time
#Weird
You do not get gold stars for cleaning your toilet. In actual life, there is a depressing lack of stickers.
- Alexandra Petri
#Cleaning
#Gold
#Life
#Stars
#Your
Bills ought to be passed with deliberation by committees. Change should be achieved in a bipartisan manner. Incrementally, day by day, we should reach a consensus - not perfect, by any means - but something that we can be proud of, nonetheless.
- Alexandra Petri
#Change
#Day
#Not Perfect
#Perfect
#Proud
At college, everyone's milestones occurred in shared clumps. Everyone studied, caroused, won, lost - simultaneously. Life is not like that.
- Alexandra Petri
#Everyone
#Life
#Like
#Lost
#Milestones
Every so often, when I am feeling plucky, I try to write a screenplay that combines all 10 of Americans' top phobias and market it as a sleeper hit.
- Alexandra Petri
#Every
#Feeling
#I Am
#Top
#Try
All children, except two, grow up: Peter Pan and Donald Trump Jr.
- Alexandra Petri
#Children
#Donald Trump
#Grow
#Two
#Up
Harvard is nerd rehab. You have to check yourself in. Those who seek a school filled with self-proclaimed 'nerds,' seek elsewhere. Dropping the H bomb may brand you as an intellectual or a Kennedy. But it will not give you much nerd cred. And that's a good thing.
- Alexandra Petri
#Good
#Intellectual
#School
#Yourself
No matter how successful you are, no matter how good you are at what you do, even if a golden path rolls out in front of your feet your whole life, there will come one particularly bleak Tuesday when you glance over at Facebook and notice that Jen From Down The Hall has just won an Oscar.
- Alexandra Petri
#Feet
#Golden
#Good
#Life
#Path
In general, sincerity is awkward.
- Alexandra Petri
#Awkward
#General
#Sincerity
Journalists run many risks. It comes with the profession.
- Alexandra Petri
#Journalists
#Profession
#Risks
#Run
Everyone praises Harvard 'for the students.' But what makes Harvard's students so great is that they are, in many ways, a cross-section of the larger world. They are normal people who happen to be excellent, and this sets them apart. People who go to Yale go because they want to attend Yale. People who go to Harvard go because they can.
- Alexandra Petri
#Everyone
#Go
#Great
#People
#World
Thanks to postmodernism, we tend to see all facts as meaningless trivia, no one more vital than any other. Yet this disregard for facts qua facts is intellectually crippling. Facts are the raw material of thought, and the knowledge of significant facts makes sophisticated thought possible.
- Alexandra Petri
#Facts
#Knowledge
#More
#Possible
#See
The difference between face-to-face conversation and any other medium of communication is simple: No distractions are permitted.
- Alexandra Petri
#Any
#Communication
#Conversation
#Simple
A picture can hide as much as it reveals.
- Alexandra Petri
#Hide
#Much
#Picture
#Reveals
I majored in extracurriculars, honestly. I joined the Harvard Stand Up Comedy Society, which is a ragtag band of misfits. I wrote for 'On Harvard Time,' which was a student TV show trying to be 'The Daily Show.' And I wrote a humor column for 'The Crimson' starting my sophomore year.
- Alexandra Petri
#Comedy
#Daily
#Humor
#Society
#Time
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